Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
