I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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