the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
