I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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