Don't you send me to vm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
