I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
