$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
