so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
