she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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