porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
