Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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