The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
