He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
