Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
