"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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