apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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