i think my mom watched the whole time
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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