Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
