in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
