So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
