Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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