Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
