Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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