My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
