and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
