Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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