Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
