i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
