You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
