remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
