Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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