why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
