So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
