Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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