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i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
should my penis look like a turkey
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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