i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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