I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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