The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
