i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
