Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
