i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
