so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
