i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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