no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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