I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
