Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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