I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
