when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
