he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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