It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
